Sunday, June 15, 2008

pakde rahena…….chhodna nahi….!!

eat it! da apple yaar….

before its gives up……..

……..all its controls in the hands of g forces….

and hits some potential sci-fi human sitting under apple tree…….

………… the shear impact of the mass*velocity activates his grey cells to put down some complicated theory in laws of physics ……

……….. then it might prove troublesome to our genext’s as it would occupy the boring long streches of pages in science-1 books ………

……..curious of those might come to u asking doubts about that complicated theory formulated by “impact inspired” human……..

……….to stop it all happening……….. ;

……the cascading mishapp ;

…………do it personalities and do it now…..

……….eat those apples before they get overpowered by earth’s gravity…..

………………………and begin their last journey(forced) to their earthy grave….

……………..remember my friends……

… apple a day………

…..keeps ”Dr.’s (and or) newton’s” away!

dhobi ghats on alert…indian railways to offer package deal

if you want to get your clothes get washed & dried while you are wearing them and if you are one of those lucky personalities who travel the lengths and breadths of mumbai (mumbaay as it popularly pronaunced mostly by those who don’t get or don’t need to travel in trains!) ………

okay……. so i was on that ki how you can ‘wash & dry’……

its actually simple than one might think.

1) Just get in any train from suburbs like dombivli, thane,borivli etc.going ‘up’ towards cst or churchgate between 8.00am and 9.00am.(The timing is to be followed strictly to get best results)

2) don’t go finding any seat because this not just another day’s journey towards your workplaces its the ‘wash & dry’ outing. [if you sit then the washing machine may not be able to work to its best ability as not entire area of your clothing will be exposed to the 'washing system' of ''suburb special fully automatic EMU ('electro motive unit') washing machine''. ]

3) now get in local train and stand in the main passage with all your determination and the belief that at the end of it you will be entirely different person! {i.e. with emu wash& dried clothes}.

4) now entirely out of proportion number of wishful commuters with the same objective as yours will get poured in , carrying with them their luggage and baggage.

but don’t you hesitate because these thing are setting up the washing cycle.

5) now the motorman will set the program for washing cycle to either prg 1 =multistage slow washing(slow train) or the prg2= few step quick wash (fast train) [note :its highly recommended for short distance commuters to go for prg1 since the get more whirlpools and wriggling movements due to 'population dynamics' when emu stops at all stations ].

for long dist commuters the prg2 will do because the lesser number of whirlpools and wriggling movements are compensated by the jerks and synchronized movements they go through during the emu passes from long distance of fast patch.

6) and finally now its the drying time.

now the washing cycle bifurkates as most of the wishful commuter get down the dadar(w) and dadar central stations and they get the liberty of carrying out the ‘drying’ in the free open air.

those who are left in emu have two options for drying ;1st:they have they whole blast of air coming in from emu washing machine door or then the automatic drying fans which are placed on the upper wall of emu machine compartment.the 20 minutes drying is good enough to complete the ‘washing & drying’ cycle as you get ready to get down at your work station(karma bhumi) .

…………not everybody needs to be the model who worked in the ad of ”livin” jeans to get their clothes washed this way!
n.b.-if unfortunately you are living in areas like dadar then don’t expect the quality results as mentioned in company booklet.central mumbaikars can go down side and then again travel ‘up ‘ to get one cycle[bandra to dadar] in the fully automatic ‘emu’ washing machine.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Pot holes

Pot holes are nice and as much unique and native to our country as pot kulfi and lalu’s pot chai. Corporations have some other ideas to ruin our cultural heritage just for vote banks. They are trying to get rid of all those pot holes on suburban roads with which we are blessed with. See what happened on eastern express highway….road as smooth as glass this followed by 20 minor accidents in 3 days.

Talking about advs. Of pot holes they are as many as you can name.

Here are some :

1) Millions of uniformly placed pot holes hold the rain water which otherwise ends up in drains and finally sea. but here it percolates down to aquifers increasing ground water level….they prove to be eco-friendly.

fig 1 : in search of a road

Car companies are making some promises about the functionality of their car suspension is modified specifically for Indian roads. Isn’t it our responsibility to keep the roads ‘Indian’ and at least give ourselves the chance to prove the company right….!?

3) Pot holes offers an unique advantage in form of reduction in corruption in contractors of corporation Since pot hole formation needs no raw material.

We should be thankful to the road makers who employ their own expertise to determine that exactly how minimum tar is to be used for road so that the gravel is not firmly bound and will be able to come out in first 7 to 10 days of rain for pot holes to start growing.

4) If you find yourself with flat tire…you are tired….have no pit crew to jack and replace you punctured rubber….well don’t be so downhearted….after all that pot hole formation process since initialized by natural resources; has a role to play to justify its 'being'.(refer figure 2) Just find a decent sized pot hole get if front tire is flat park car with rear in pot hole to find yourselves in position of changing the front tire needless of applying jack….. so it’s although uncharacteristic about being certain to get but in true sense a JACKPOT for you……the pot hole….that is.

figure 2 : how to fix flat tire making use of pot
hole as a jack

Recent studies say that there is symbio/abiotic association between potholes being present on roads….

That is for us…..the living partner of association….we have the advantages those we discussed… and the abiotic partner i.e. the tar road…for it the pot holes are like what stomata are for plant….the viscous tar makes the road suffocated so much so it tends to initiates accidents. Pot holes help gaseous exchange and hold water keep roads cool….safe….peppy…bumpy…..after all not many of us can afford camel ride as often as we desire so pot holes also serve as means of recreation(same as what multitasking for 'IT' ans is ).

So you spot any corporation contractors filling up the pot holes….restrain them from doing so….after all we need hurdles in the path to find our way through…..

(post sponsor : Dr.Bony Plastrosa , M.S. ortho. )

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

pho-chi-po aarthat Phod-Ni-Chi-Poli

China has just announced the aassal konkanastha brahmin's recipe,Phod-Ni- Chi-Poli to be one of their recipes which they would like the world to know as one of their greatest ever ancient recipes about which they showed enough generosity to let people change those recipes and thus this 'Pho-Chi-Po' always managed to avoid getting sidelined as it evolved with changing times which were also testing times ('taste'ting) to be able to meet the ever-changing demands of taste buds ; and remained the bestseller at Fast-Food-stalls.

The Chinese historians also gave an explanation to answer for the claim of the IPR's of phodnichi poli by the very angry and disgusted Kobra mahasangh of akhil KONKAN;in which Chinese say that the far generousness and trustworthiness shown by the Chinese people in terms of not being much possessive about the IPR's of the pho chi po when it started its journey towards Indian subcontinent; was actually out of the fact that they being ignorant about the ability of kobra's to make some moves which generally seem to be far away from being legally illegal.
So, sharp intruding strategies need not always be from the people having sharp facial features.....since Chinese people managed doing it!!